a few tidbits…

First of all, tidbits sounds kind of like a dirty word to me.  I don’t know…

So I have been writing blogs in my head for days now, and none of them are well formed pieces of artwork but I have to get them out of my head before I explode.  This is going to be the most random and ill formed blog post you ever read.   Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

Let’s start with the most ridiculous.  And inappropriately, horribly, TMI.  (which I kind of feel bad about.)  Saturday night, late, I started my period.  Again.  God, why won’t it just go away?  I’ve been in menopause for three years now.  GOD.

Anywho, for some godforsaken reason I didn’t have necessities. Neither Jim or I were in a position to be driving to the store in the middle of the night.  Because we are lazy sloths.  So, I decide I’d use one of the 500,000 diapers that I have hanging around the house as a horribly sucky necessity {not sure why I can’t just say the word} for the night and then swing by the store on the way to church Sunday morning.  {I know, crazy.  We actually made a repeat appearance.}  I got the crappiest night of sleep ever. Probably because I can’t even wear a pad so why the hell I thought I could wear a freaking diaper is beyond me.  But, I suffered through it and schlepped the family to church Sunday morning.

We, of course, were running behind so I decided to just take one for the team and not stop at the store.  I was sure the church would have one of those machines in the bathroom and I could just deal with it once I got there.  Apparently, the Presbyterians don’t believe in necessities because there was no goddamned machine.  Whatever.  Jesus wouldn’t mind and I was kind of getting used to the thing.  And I was all hopped up on pain killers.

I’m pretty sure there are saints in heaven based on the sacrifices they made to get their heathen family into God’s house.  Add little old me to that list.  I win.

So… while we’re on the subject of the lord, I’ll just say that I am pretty darn proud of the impropers for our rediscovered devotion to the jesus.   Whatever.  We’re still just us, but we like going to this church.  Except for the fact that I am just an emotional wreck 100% of the time that we’re there.  I cried like a freaking moron during most of the thing.  I am totally not a crier.  Anymore.  I think I was just teary because I was sitting in a diaper.  Who wouldn’t cry whilst sitting in a diaper in God’s house and taking communion.  Duh.

I did come to peace with something at some point after my diaper clad communion experience and I think you should know this too.  In case you should ever, you know, need to know this about me.  Like for a pop quiz or something.  I am a real pain in the ass when it comes to rumors.  If I hear something about someone I know, I always have to investigate.  I need to know if what I’m hearing is true or not.  And if I know something I’ve heard is not necessarily the most accurate of information, I can’t rest until I know that it’s squared away.  I guess it’s because I know how much it can really hurt if people think they know something about you and really don’t know the half of it.  Or don’t know the why.  Or whatever.  I just have a hangup.  OKAY?!?!  So I’m not really a good person to tell secret information to.  But I am a kick-ass pal to have around if someone didn’t get their story straight and it needs to be resolved.  So just put that in your hat and wear it around like a feather.  The Hubbs says that I just need to relax and mind my own freaking business but I have a hard time with that.  And I don’t know for sure that it’s something I really want to spend my energy to change.  I think it’s a reasonably good quality.  Especially when I’m wearing a diaper.

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4 thoughts on “a few tidbits…

    • I know. It’s completely ridiculous. I can’t even believe it myself.
      If it helps, it was a size one super soft one that was really just like a pad. And I really just cant believe I’m talking about this.

  1. Diapers are totally in now. I wear one all the time…pretty comfy and REALLY cuts down on all the bathroom breaks. Nice!

    ps I heard people cry in church when they’re letting their walls down and letting Jesus in. So just put that in your hat and wear it around like a feather.

    • My hat might start to get a little full. I’ll be looking like the Chikita Banana lady balancing that crazy fruit bowl on her head. I don’t know the Cha-Cha though, so that might be a problem.

      Thanks. For a lot of things! 🙂

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