If you listen carefully you will hear the angels in heaven singing whatever the hell angels sing when they are rejoicing over a woman narrowly rescued from losing her damn mind from living with her in-laws for too long. (I say this in partial jest, as I am so grateful for loving in-laws who opened their home to us for as long as it took to find a home. None of us were expecting it to take in the ballpark of two months. So, the angels are singing for my MIL’s sanity too. I’m sure. Actually, I’m reasonably positive she wants to kill me right now.) Where was I going with this…?
Oh right, we found a house. HOLY SHIT WE FOUND A HOUSE! It’s tiny and so totally different from what we originally set out to get but as the previous paragraph/babble fest would suggest, our standards were drastically altered and the plan completely changed so we could get the EFF off of the blow up mattress in the in-law’s place and into our own space, even if it is under 1500 sq ft.
Have you ever lived with your in-laws? Most women I know would rather ride bare back on a horse naked for 3 days than live with her mother-in-law. I will admit, of all the shit my hubs has put me through over the years, this one tops the list. But, we are all surviving. Well, there’s two more weeks left so we’ll see, but so far… everyone is still alive and no one has thrown a punch. My MIL has been more than gracious and if the kids can just hold their shit together for two more freaking weeks, we may all make it.
You know how people used to live as one big family compound? Moms, dads, grammas, grampas, aunts and even creepy uncles? There’s a reason that shit just doesn’t fly this side of the Mississippi. Too many adults directing the kids is just a shit show. My babes are so confused as to what the rules are and who to listen to I just want to wrap them up in a blanket and swaddle them to sleep. They are losing their shit on the daily and (even though my husband begs to differ) I just really have a hard time being too hard on them. Which of course means they are losing their shit even more. I just want to throw in the towel and curl up in the fetal. Which means I am weak and an inconsistent mom and therefore a total loser as a wife and mom. Which means I’m losing my fucking mind and will most definitely lose my shit soon. And we all know that will be ugly as hell.
Okay, I feel better now. I’m scared to even go back and re-read this because I know it’s just a pathetic mess. If this post were a picture it’d be some sad excuse of a woman in her bathrobe and curlers with snot and drool all over the place while she bends over and shows half of her ass searching for the bottle of vodka she hid behind the toilet.
So now I will push publish and run away from the computer. And you all will leave comments about how you love me and I’m doing a good job and you’ll come visit me in the nut house. YOU WILL DAMMIT. OR I WILL BLOCK YOU FROM THIS BLOG FOREVER! (And you’ll be sad about that once I find my funny again and am actually writing shit worth reading.)
BUT YAY I GOT A HOUSE!