127 reasons I absolutely *could not* be a 1965 housewife. (v.1)

You may have heard a little something about me.  I’m no longer a full-time worker.  For the first time since the mortgage industry went tits up in a punch bowl, this girl? Doesn’t have to bring in a paycheck.  Be jealous, folks.  Suuuuper Jealous.  I give it till September 27th… a few days after school starts and I’ll be losing my freaking mind.  Because, this girl?  Is so not a housewife!  I may become one, you know… when I actually get a house.  (We’re getting there, folks.  Only a couple more weeks!)  But for now, I so don’t fit the role.

I’ve been watching the show “Mad Men” on Netflix- it’s set in the suburban 60’s.  Have you seen this?  I’m on season one.  I’m not sure how long I’ll last because, well… it PISSES ME THE HELL OFF!  I just want to shake those women and tell them to get the hell over it!  I am a little jealous of the chain-smoking and cocktail consumption without the guilt.  (Even while pregnant!)  I am not jealous of the doting wife, you do whatever you want and I’ll be here waiting for you crap.

Here’s a few things this girl just doesn’t do as housewife:

1.  I don’t iron shit.  If your clothes need to be ironed, you need to find yourself an upstanding little facility that loves to wash and press and dry clean the hell out of it for you.  Or you need to learn how to work the iron.  I have better things to do.  Like… anything.

2.  Yard work is not for me.  I don’t care if I’m home 24 hours a day with absofreakinglutely nothing to do and you work 22 hours a day and only come home to poop and shower; I will not mow the lawn.  If you don’t have time for it, there’s a shit ton of hispanic fellas parked outside of Home Depot just aching for a job.  Go pay one of them to come over and push the mower.  Seriously, those guys are hard workers and they need a job!

3.  I absolutely, positively 100% do not take kindly to a man making his job his first priority and his home life an after thought.  I am so fortunate that my hubs is a family man.  He is a great dad and takes great care of us.  I will say, for a couple of weeks there in starting a new job, he was very focused on work.  I know it wasn’t his intention, but he was an idiot.  I had to smack him back into reality and he was fine, but I’m telling you, if that was my life on a daily basis I’d come unglued!

How the hell did women do it?  I don’t consider myself to be particularly “women’s lib” for the most part.  I am just dandy with caring for my family and letting my hubs take the lead in a lot of things.  I don’t feel like I’m a woman who tries to make a point about women’s rights, but I could lose my shit over being treated like a second class citizen.  A marriage is a partnership, and if I were treated like a silent partner, I’d probably do a hell of a lot more than take my kitchen shears to someone’s genitalia.

Maybe that’s just me.

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8 thoughts on “127 reasons I absolutely *could not* be a 1965 housewife. (v.1)

  1. Amen sista! Forget the 1950’s doting housewife…WTF??!! There was something wrong with that whole era and situation…my guess is a lot of those women were trapped and there were naughty little women underneath that “doting” exterior – they wanted free just didn’t have the avenue to be it. thank god i don’t live during that time. Then there were those that just loved the hell out of it – something wrong wrong wrong with it!!

  2. Hm. Have to disagree here. I’d much rather live in an altered reality while some hot guy goes to work each day so I can sleep in, lunch out and generally do nothing. Partner?? Hell, just make sure that AMEX goes through every time I want to use it for something, and I won’t give a shit about being part of any decision making.

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