and then she lost her shit

Remember a couple of days ago when I warned you of the impending shit losing?  Today is the day.  I know, it’s only taken a matter of hours.  I can’t help it.

I am not the kind of person that can just bite her tongue and grin and bear it.  I try.  Man, do I try.  And sometimes I last a long freaking time.  And then I blow.  I have been irritated about some things for several days.  None of it is big.  It’s just your average six adults and two children under one 3000 square foot roof for weeks on end.  Shit will get ugly.  And nerves will be raw.  But no matter how much one person knows this, when you lose your shit you just lose your shit.

So someone takes out the trash and doesn’t put a liner back in the can.  And then all hell breaks loose.

“I HAVE BEEN A FUCKING MAID AROUND HERE FOR WEEKS ON END AND I ASK YOU TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH ONE GODDAMNED TIME AND YOU CAN’T MANAGE TO PUT A LINER IN?  WHAT THE FUUUUCK?!?!”  And then it’s on.  Things get said.  Things like…

“You’re lucky that XBox doesn’t belong to you or I would take it and throw it up against the wall just like the last fucking time you decided to go on a veg fest while I was busy being a damn slave.”

“Do you KNOW how long it’s been since I’ve had sex?  Let’s just put it this way, I’ve gone through two boxes of tampons since there was any action around here.  A girl starts to lose her shit when sleeping on a blow up bed with no release whatsoever.  WHATSOEVER.  Can you say that? WHAT.SO.EVER?”

“The next person that tells me my kids are out of control is going to get a sharp fist to the groin.  AND THEN WE’LL SEE WHO’S OUT OF CONTROL AROUND HERE BITCHES.”

And then the person that lost her shit might go in the bathroom and sob into a towel for an hour or so.

UPDATE:

I feel I should warn you, in case you happen to be within 100 square miles of me and should happen to run across me in public, or whatever:
The next person that did not push my child through their reproductive organs that decides to physically touch or yell at my child will suffer some sort of consequence.  I cannot even fathom the severity of that consequence at this time because I am not a stable situation, but there will be a fucking repercussion.  I don’t care if my kid threw a baseball threw your window and called you fatty mcgee, there is absolutely no reason for anyone that isn’t paying for their college tuition to physically manhandle my child.  I will lose my shit all over again.

So you’ve been warned.

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14 thoughts on “and then she lost her shit

    • Well thank you! I’ve actually had lots of practice at losing my shit. And yes, I do feel like a new woman. And people are scared of me. So I think I’ll have about a solid week of ass-kissing out of everyone around here. Yay Me!

  1. I am sitting here in shock..close to stroke shock! If my children or husband were to read your blog, and not know who the writer was, and were asked to guess ~ all 6 would say “that’s mom”! I am so happy right now, not because you’re shit’s exploding every which way, but because I’m not alone! I’m not crazy, and I’m not psychotic. I have a sister! And, she’s a twin. Wow, I’m in shock ~ but happy. I do hope your week is stress free now, and if your family is anything like mine, I doubt you will even see or hear them. If they’re as smart as mine, they’ll become invisible! LOL

  2. Patty, Just cuz Mama Improper is doin’ it does not make YOU normal. Please seek therapy. If both of your shit-storms ever collide, it could cause The Rapture… We all know that anyone who reads I.F. is NOT ready for Rapture. 😉
    Mama Improper, try cooking lasagna in the buff… it would work for me… just sayin’.

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