when the dog bites, when the bee stings…

Hi kids. I’ve been missing you. (yes, you, silly.)

I have recently received some hate mail regarding my absolute absence here on the ol’ blog so I’m just here to make futile excuses and tell you I’m sorry.  Dudes, I’ve been busy. (errr… that’s what I tell Jimmie. So he gets off my ass about not being able to find his clean socks.) Seriously, I have been busy.  But none of it was very awesome stuff.

I’ve just been searching high and low for a job (one that actually pays) and then doing some other not important stuff like being ridiculously and clinically addicted to Pinterest and also, planning a wedding shower.  Can I just tell you, I am the world’s queen of overdoing all parties?
I am.

I am so freaking crazy when I plan a party.  Elle’s eighth birthday was a “backyard campout” with 16 kids in the backyard for an overnighter complete with tents, campfire, flashlight shenanigans and a scavenger hunt.  And I had a three ring binder and to the minute schedule.  AND IT ROCKED.   This shower, will be the love bird equivalent to that.  AND IT WILL BE EPIC.  In the mean time; however, I have so completely tweaked my back by sitting on the floor cutting endless homemade envelopes out of brown Kraft paper that I can no longer breathe comfortably.

So, that’s where I’ve been.  Get off my back. I miss you, too.

Today, I remembered that at the beginning of the year, in a moment of weakness, I signed up to receive something “homemade” from a friend with the promise I would make five additional people something homemade and send to them by the end of the year.  (For the record, I believe my judgement was clouded with three or four vodka tonics and the hope that this person will send me her mama’s famous peanut brittle. *hint, hint*)  When I signed up I told her I was going to make the stuff for my blog peeps.  That’s you.   (Yes, I just said peeps. I know.)

ANYWAY, The first three people who sign up here will get some sort of homemade something that I’m sure I’ll find on Pinterest by the end of the year.  I’m not saying you have to promise to make other people junk, I’m not into that kind of thing.  BUT, my crap will be awesome and you want it.  (Also, if times get hectic I might buy it from etsy and pretend to have made it. WHAT? People do that all the time.)

I can see you looking at me wondering what the hell is wrong with me.  Obviously I signed up to send five people the goods and am only giving it to three of you. That’s because I’m giving two of the items to people who donated cash to help my broke ass friends out at Christmas.  So that’s where the other two things are going.

I can assure you right now, I will not be making any more envelopes to give away for this little experiment.  (well, that would be lame anyway.)  My back is freaking KILLING me.

So…leave a comment telling me three of your favorite things in life.  Like, if your favorite thing is beer, I may crochet you a beer coozy.  Or if your favorite thing is rainbows, I might make you a rainbow sherbet.  I’m sure Pinterest can tell me how to do that.  If you follow me on my facebook  page, you may be interested in me making you that hot little shark week swimsuit number I posted yesterday.  Yes, I could totally make you one of those.

Three of my favorite things are:
vodka
peonies
books

See? Now it’s your turn.

UPDATE: Keep on commenting. If I win the lotto, or if it’s a really long winter, I might just send everyone something.  Because I’m that awesome.

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17 thoughts on “when the dog bites, when the bee stings…

  1. Oh, you so know I want some of your crap. Favorite things? Um…clearly…beer. Oh, and craft beer. Oh, and cheap domestic beer. Isn’t that three? Ok. Traveling. And photography. Go ahead…make me a Canon 5D. I dare ya.

  2. hey chica – was totally wondering where the hell your blog was – so thanks for coming back. we need to hear from ya!!!! yeesh, don’t you know that:)

    oh, and three of my favorite things – wine, vodka, and….shoes/purses/accessories… (that may look like 6 things, but its not!)

    hope your back feels better:)

  3. Man the Shark Week swimsuit is tempting but wearing a swimsuit is most def not one of my fav things so…….1. Beer 2. Boating 3. Camping (Not necessarily in that order either) 😉 AND there are more important favorite things besides beer like..oh..I don’t know… my fam, kids, hubs all that BUT I REALLY want one of those crochet beer cozies. 😉 I do expect my gift when I see you next month at bunco. Get movin!! 😉

  4. Is it ok that I am super pissed I wasn’t one of the first three? Homemade shit rocks. Especially peanut brittle. And cupcakes. And maybe wine…but only if it’s the 7 week stuff, that 4 week stuff can kill you.

    Glad you’re back!

  5. Wine
    Washington apple drinkies
    Vodka tonics
    and over-sharing my married sex life (this one is according to my husband)

    I am glad you are back!

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